I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
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