My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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