I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
