Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
