I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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