I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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