Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Randomize
