Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
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