I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
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