smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
smell my finger.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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