Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize
