Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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