Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
