If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
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