Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Randomize
