whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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