Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I could make wine with my vomit
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
