it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Randomize
