i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
