it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
