Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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