in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
