$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
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