she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
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