I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Randomize
