They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
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