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i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
