It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
