I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
