What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
