It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Randomize
