this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
