my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
