I think scott just propositioned me for sex
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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