i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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