At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
