I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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