If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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