I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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