Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
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