I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
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