he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize