yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
