At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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