DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
