He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize