In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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