I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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