found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
