ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Randomize
