Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
