i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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