she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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