how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
