so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
