I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
