My room smells like vodka and shame
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
