Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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