I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
