His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Randomize
