i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
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