Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
