I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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