just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
