that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
